Space Ghost Coast to Coast Wiki

(The episode begins with a black screen. On the bottom left side of the screen, some text reads: SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC. Cut to Space Ghost looking outside the window)

Space Ghost: Moltar, what's our depth?

Moltar: Twenty thousand leagues, sir.

Space Ghost: Take her to twenty-one.

Moltar: Twenty-one!? But... why?

Space Ghost: Because it's more fantastical.

(Clanging is heard, someone is at the door)

Space Ghost: Don't answer it. It's evil Dr. Reef.

Zorak: I'm answerin' it.

Space Ghost: Don't. If you open that door, we'll drown.

Zorak: Oh yeah? Good. (Punches a button to the left of him, the door opens and a forklift comes in with a stack of wooden boards. The forklift places the boards in front of SG, then backs away out of the studio)

Space Ghost: My god! Wooden eels! Surface! Surface! (Moltar pulls a lever) Speed up! No, not that fast. Slow down! (Moltar pulls another lever) I'm blacking out! (This echos as the screen turns pitch black. Cut back to the studio, Zorak is knocked out) Zorak is dead, murdered! Moltar, serve the first course!

Moltar: Aye aye, captain. Coleslaw, comin' up!

Space Ghost: The only thing we can do now is eat... and bring out my first suspect.

(Busta Rhymes appears on the monitor)

Busta: Thank you, Mr. Space Ghost.

Space Ghost: Busta, Zorak's skull has been fractured, (He has a wrench in his hand) with what appears to be.... a wrench.

(Zorak gets back up, still alive)

Zorak: This dinner mystery sucks!

Space Ghost: (Zooms offscreen, and stomps on Zorak, knocking him back out) Which was last in my hand, in the Veranda, where I was loosening the gas pipe.

Busta: I see, Space Ghost. (He and SG start to chuckle)

Space Ghost: Is it possible we surfaced too rapidly?

(Zorak gets back up again, with the script in hand)

Zorak: Ugh! That's it, I'm not doin' this anymore. This whole thing sucks!

Space Ghost: What are you not doing anymore?

Zorak: This; the whole thing with the sub! We're not underwater, I knew this was a dumbass idea.

Busta: Oh, man, you'd better not play that game with me. Zorak could get a nice Jackie Chan chop right in the back of his neck.

Space Ghost: Hang on, y'all. (Takes out a wrench)

Zorak: What's that for?

Space Ghost: Do not.... (Hits Zorak on the head, who yells "Ow!") disturb... (Hits him again) the judge! (And again)

Busta: Dang!

Space Ghost: God, that was violent. I blame... the sea.

Busta: You need to give me a pair of them laser wrist-o things you be runnin' around the place with.

Space Ghost: Why?

Busta: I'm gonna use them.

Space Ghost: For what?

Busta: I might use them to zap you with em'.

Space Ghost: Okay.

Busta: Give them to me.

Space Ghost: I will.

Busta: So let me have it.

Space Ghost: I will.

(Moltar comes in with a bowl of coleslaw)

Moltar: Where do you want this... (SG smacks the bowl out of his hands) captain?

Space Ghost: We're in silent running here.

Moltar: Okay, fine.

Space Ghost: Moltar, we are in silent running! Do you understand the concept of silent running!?

Moltar: You want another one?

Space Ghost: (Quietly) Silent...,

Moltar: Oh, okay, fine.

Busta: So why are you giving me such a hard time with giving them lasers?

Space Ghost: What are you talking about? (Goes over to the boards) Moltar, make a fire with these eels.

Moltar: Aye aye, captain.

Space Ghost: But be quiet, we're underwater.

Moltar: No man, we surfaced.

Space Ghost: You handle the salads until you get killed!

Moltar: You told me to surface, so... that's... that's what I did.

Space Ghost: Now, woodpile, did you or did you not masquerade as eels and shock Zorak with that wrench? Answer me! (Busta laughs at SG's stupidity as he speaks, SG then sits back down, a bowl is there, it's the bowl of chocolate ice cream from the episode "Pavement") Now what about these beings?

Moltar: Those must have fallen out of my hair. (Silence) Well, you're just making all this **** up! (More silence) Oh what, you're the only one that gets to make **** up? (Even more silence, then he scoffs) Those are part of the dinner.

Space Ghost: No they're not. They're part of a plot.

Moltar: They were on the menu.

Space Ghost: Murder is on the menu. (Takes the wrench back out) Look, me prints on the wrench. But, what is the wrench for?

Moltar: That's where you were trying to fix the, uh, gas leak, (Cut to a gas pipe, text on it reads: WARNING GAS LINE with two no signs, one with a wrench, and another with SG) and you made it leak.

Space Ghost: Is that where I got all these ideas? Cause they're brilliant. Hey, break all the pipes in the sub for more good ideas! (Using his wrench, he breaks 3 pipes open) Dive! Dive! Suck on the pipes!

Busta: Space Ghost is definitely with it.

Space Ghost: (He is next to a pipe, as he speaks, his voice becomes distorted, then high-pitched) Hang on, Busta. We're going underwater!

Busta: (High-pitched) All right, Spacey.

Space Ghost: Okay.

(Zorak gets back up, rather dazed from multiple head injuries)

Zorak: (High-pitched) Ugh...

Busta: You little freaky thing.

Zorak: Ugh... what happened?

Busta: That little funny thing, you'd better watch that, man.

(Space Ghost hits Zorak with the wrench four more times)

Busta: We don't play no games from the year 2000 and change.

(Space Ghost hits Zorak three more times)

Space Ghost: Look, I've pieced it together. Zorak wasn't dead, but now he is.

Busta: Crazy Zorak, man. (Moltar arrives)

Space Ghost: And then you showed up.

Busta: Yeah, I know, man. But, you know, you seem like a cool cat. You need to come out and hang out with us soon so we can learn what that twitching is all about.

Moltar: (High-pitched and standing on the desk) Hey man, don't stand on the floor. The floor is spoiled, like milk.

Space Ghost: This is so weird, isn't it?